One of the best parts of motherhood is watching your little ones grow -- physically, intellectually, and emotionally -- right before your eyes. It happens so quickly too at this age, that you can see Arjun mastering cruising, or Lila grasping the meaning of a concept, within a matter of minutes. It is so uplifting to see the joy and pride they take in learning these new skills.
I've posted quite a few times about the feeding issues both Lila and Arjun have gone through, and how heartbreaking it is to see the discomfort and pain they have in reaction to something as simple as eating. Sometimes I see other children on the playground chugging away at a sippy cup of milk, and my heart aches for my children because that is something they cannot do. Not because I resent my children for not being "normal", but because something that so many others take for granted comes at such a great cost to them.
Given that history, it is easy to fall into the trap of overcompensating for Lila and Arjun. When Lila doesn't want to eat, I sit patiently with her for an hour per meal sometimes, cajoling her into eating just a bit more. When Arjun didn't want his bottle, we used to rock him to sleep and then gently slip the bottle into his mouth so he'd be able to get his nutrition. Whatever it took, I thought, to get them to grow up as healthy as possible.
That's why I was so concerned about Lila starting daycare this week. I hardly slept on Sunday night worrying that she wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, wouldn't stop crying. I was expecting the worst. So you can imagine my surprise when I dropped her off and she didn't even cry once! My little trooper got through a whole day without mama just fine. Today is her third day, and though she has been a bit clingier than usual, she has adjusted so much more easily than I ever imagined. Arjun, meanwhile, is taking his bottle while awake more and more often now, and though he did test positive for a milk protein allergy, is doing great on non-dairy solids as well.
In a few weeks, I will go back to work, and although I am nervous, I'm starting to learn that sometimes all I need to do is to put my faith in the kids, and to give them the benefit of the doubt. Lila and Arjun are teaching me how to be brave and just let go!
PS-On a lighter note, the pictures above have nothing to do with this post. Lila and Arjun are wearing their Indian outfits for a traditional "rakhi ceremony", where the sister ties a red thread on her younger brother's wrist to symbolize her love of him, and he reciprocates to symbolize that he will protect her. And protect he will -- Arjun is now 12 months younger but only 1 pound less than Lila, so I am sure that he will grow up to be her bodyguard at preschool :)
